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Writer's pictureBennett Joseph

Spiritual Sectrets: UNFORGIVENESS

Unforgiveness is one strong emotion that most of the people tend to carry in their hearts. It is not only a strong emotion but also a very negative one. It is one emotion that has the power to destroy us completely if we allow it to. It is one emotion that we must never carry but we always tend to do because of other people’s actions and reactions to certain situations.

Why I say unforgiveness is very dangerous is because, let’s say that you have not forgiven your friend for betraying you in some situation. You carry unforgiveness in your heart. Although it is your friend who has wronged you and you have done nothing wrong, unforgiveness will only pester you and not your friend. You see this unforgiveness will create a hatred in your heart whenever you think about that person or come across a similar situation. This hatred will soon become anger and will come out and burst out in places and situations that you don’t expect resulting in problems only in your life. And the person who really wronged has none of these above listed problems. This is why unforgiveness is very bad for any person who carries it, because it affects only the person who has it and not the one because of whom we are not forgiving.

You see, the reason why we choose not to forgive is because we either would have found ourselves in a situation where we could not control other people’s reactions and that led to something tragic in our life affecting us drastically or we reacted in a way we shouldn’t have and that led to affect someone else drastically. In both cases we resort to unforgiveness, because we find ourselves caught up in the past in our minds and we aren’t able to come out of it but still can’t change the slightest thing about it. We have this reality in front of us that we cannot face so we resort to unforgiveness to soothe ourselves and to escape the pain that is in our minds as we think about that situation or person or institution etc..

Well I have a solution for you, where you don’t have to sabotage yourself by allowing unforgiveness in your life and not get affected by the other person’s action that caused you a lot of pain. The answer is JESUS and the LOVE he showed.

You see the most powerful emotion in the whole wide universe is LOVE and the LOVE that Jesus showed towards us is the most powerful form of LOVE there ever was and will ever be. And it is this LOVE that can overpower the unforgiveness that we carry.

This love that I am talking about is called AGAPE in Greek. We don’t have to do much to come out of this unforgiveness, all we have to do is ask Jesus to come into our lives and give a place for Him in our hearts.

Just a simple prayer like; God, Jesus I believe in you and that you died for me and for my sins. I give you my life and a place in my heart. Come and dwell with me. Amen. Will do the job. You see, when Jesus comes into our lives, also comes love, joy, happiness, peace, healing and so much more of His goodness. Now let me tell you why he is the Best solution to unforgiveness, when Jesus comes in to your life and you understand the LOVE that Jesus showed towards you, you will tend to reflect the LOVE showed towards you to others.

Luke 6:27-36 says like this:

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Matthew 6:27-36

From this quoted scripture we find that the word of God tells that we must show love and goodness to those who haven’t done the same to us. Which is basically the opposite of unforgiveness, but rather God expects us to Forgive others.

In fact Jesus says like this in Matthew 18:21-22:

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22

But you may ask me, “Me forgiving others doesn’t change the fact that the person wronged me in the first place”. and my answer to you would be, ”yeah, definitely but you forgiving others allows God to do far more greater things that nullifies the wrong that others did to you”.

Let me explain what I mean by that statement, let’s say that there were 2 friends A and B who were so close and did everything together. Both of them applied to the same university to get into college but friend B tampered with the essay and other transcripts of friend A that B’s chances of getting in was increased and because of this friend A did not go to that particular university which was his dream university. Now friend A has all the rights to be unforgiving and hating friend B.

Now let’s apply what we just read earlier and see what are the possibilities. So, let’s say that friend A believed in Jesus and gave his life to Jesus and chose to forgive. This very act of forgiveness allows God to open other better DOORS that was never in the picture earlier because he did what the word of God tells him to which in turn shows that he loves God more than his dreams. It pleases God. Because of this, God might help him get into a better university far from his reach. Because my God can turn mistakes into miracles. He can turn every bad thing that happened to you good.

For in Romans 8 :28 it says so;

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

But the secret is not doing these things because you want something better in your life but because you love Jesus. You cannot cheat God in his game for He knows your heart.

Finally let me end with this poem written by Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa’s Anyway Poem People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway
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